Really Stan Lee

[Cmon_WTF]

Is he really a "Genious".

 

[SJVP408]

Why the hell does a Shark(man), who is an adept swimmer, need water skis?

 

[KillerVee]

Listen, guys, I'm not going to lie. I am totally going to buy that if it's a comic or action figure! I am so fucking tickled!

 

[Cmon_WTF]

Why the hell does a Shark(man), who is an adept swimmer, need water skis?

Because he's a fricken Genious!

 

[KillerVee]

The Shark is a contrarian. Normally he exhibits a low-key almost passive nature choosing to avoid conflict. Of all the Guardians, he is the least likely to be the lightning rod for any particular mission or cause. However, the Shark can change his demeanor at a moment’s notice and exhibit a more tenacious side. At these moments he cares only about his objective. Since San Jose is the capital of Silicon Valley, the Shark is the Guardian’s resident computer “geek” and a technopath who can mentally interface with any type of computer data or software. The Shark is a massive humanoid looking character with the sleek skin of a Great White, the head of a shark complete with rows of jagged teeth and like actual sharks, poor eyesight (in fact he’s almost blind). As a result, his other senses, especially smell and touch, have been heightened to superhuman levels.

Wow. Why did they have to make him "low-key" and "passive?"

Did they subtly insult the other teams too?

 

[Cbrower91]

Maybe dwil should sign him and have him play d

 

[Cmon_WTF]

What the crap! All I asked for were fricken sharks with fricken lazers attached to their fricken heads!

 

[rares]

I am soooooo lost and confused... Haha!

 

[SJVP408]

The Shark is a contrarian. Normally he exhibits a low-key almost passive nature choosing to avoid conflict. Of all the Guardians, he is the least likely to be the lightning rod for any particular mission or cause. However, the Shark can change his demeanor at a moment’s notice and exhibit a more tenacious side. At these moments he cares only about his objective. Since San Jose is the capital of Silicon Valley, the Shark is the Guardian’s resident computer “geek” and a technopath who can mentally interface with any type of computer data or software. The Shark is a massive humanoid looking character with the sleek skin of a Great White, the head of a shark complete with rows of jagged teeth and like actual sharks, poor eyesight (in fact he’s almost blind). As a result, his other senses, especially smell and touch, have been heightened to superhuman levels.

Wow. Why did they have to make him "low-key" and "passive?"

Did they subtly insult the other teams too?

That is awesome. I don't think that just happened by chance. Surprised no mention of him being a virgin, or not scoring much.

 

[Stackem]

Pretty sure a 'Software Empath' wouldn't call an army of sharks to assist him. Clearly it would be armies of servers launching dns attacks.. and if that didn't work, he'd call upon his minions of spam bots to drown enemies in endless adds for erectile disfunction remedies...

Duh! Who writes this crap?

 

[SJVP408]

Pretty sure a 'Software Empath' wouldn't call an army of sharks to assist him. Clearly it would be armies of servers launching dns attacks.. and if that didn't work, he'd call upon his minions of spam bots to drown enemies in endless adds for erectile disfunction remedies...

Duh! Who writes this crap?

I'm much more scared of DNS attacks and spam bots than I am of sharks. If I wanted to avoid sharks, I'd just get out of the water. If I wanted to avoid DNS attacks I'd have to stay off the internet and that's not gonna happen.

 

[MrChangoT97]

Listen, guys, I'm not going to lie. I am totally going to buy that if it's a comic or action figure! I am so fucking tickled!

Hey its just going to be another Sharks toy added to my collection. I say This might have been one of the easiest characters for Stan Lee to create.

 

[Slimpikins]

Wow great creativity. The Sharks mascot in this horrible advertising campaign is a Shark. Didn't see that one coming. Plus he is as lame as Aquaman, he'll call an army of Sharks to defeat you, as long as you are in the water. At least he is a tech genious. Becuase electronics and water mix so well together.

I bet Stan Lee can't believe he is getting paid for this.

 

[KillerVee]

Wow great creativity. The Sharks mascot in this horrible advertising campaign is a Shark. Didn't see that one coming.

To be fair, the other teams superheroes aren't any better. For example: "The King" who commands the power of earthquakes and "The Hurricane" who commands the power of wind and weather or some shit like that.

And also? "The Devil." I MEAN REALLY! A Devil can't be a superhero! It's against the rules!

 

[Slimpikins]

To be fair, the other teams superheroes aren't any better. For example: "The King" who commands the power of earthquakes and "The Hurricane" who commands the power of wind and weather or some shit like that.

And also? "The Devil." I MEAN REALLY! A Devil can't be a superhero! It's against the rules!

True, they are all pretty terrible but when I see sharkman it reminds me of this: