My 138th Kentucky Derby Preview

[Comeds]

I did have the 2/3 perfecta but didn’t box it. Paid $129 if I remember correctly

Hey if it didn't finish 1st, 2nd, or 3rd - last works! Funnier than 5th.
I got lucky. Cashed out early on an Orioles bet for a decent win. They still won but not by the 1.5 I needed.

 

[jvett77]

Had two $5 trifectas, 3-2-12 and 3-2-17; with a $1.00 bet on 3-2-11 winning $1,113, I missed a nice payday. Life is unfair.

 

[Comeds]

The day after the big race.
Used tickets roll along the ground at Churchill Downs caught in the breeze, discarded and forgotten like the hopes of a triple crown.
The horses stumble and stagger hungover into their carriers, many belching the entire way. Most of them no longer the heroes they were a day before. Just livestock now.
The stable workers brace themselves and enter the stables to begin the massive cleanup from the party the night before. Seemingly every inch of every surface in the stables covered with horse vomit, semen, and/or urine. Apple cores litter the floor. A worker trips on one and catches himself by grabbing a door handle covered in a thickening mix of fluid.

"I almost had a winner yesterday," he says wiping his hand on his pants. "I almost made it out of here. Never again."

"The Preakness is only two weeks away," a coworker reminds him.

"Two more weeks," he says as he begins sweeping. "Two more weeks and I'm out of here."

 

[jvett77]

The next two races will each have fewer horses. It will be easier to pick a good trifecta but the odds will be down. You'll need a long shot in the mix to win the big money. Always hoping for the triple crown. Preakness May 18; Belmont June 8.

The 2004 Belmont Stakes which I attended stands out in my mind when 36-1 Birdstone came out of nowhere to upset 1-5 fan favorite Smarty Jones and the triple crown. You gotta hear the call! A $2 Trifecta paid $1,500.
(Race begins at 40 min)

 

[Loco2]

It's here! Finally. The 375th running of the Kentucky Derby! Watch the horses run! Crowd watch the stands populated by everyday average hard working Americans and Saudi princes. Have a Mint Julep or six while telling the woman at the bar that a Hot Brown is the official sandwich of Kentucky, not something dirty. But it could be. But enough about me, lets focus on the horses.
Here's this years "field" and its a good "one"!

• Post 1: Barbecue Playpen Odds: 20-1 (+2000)
• Post 2: Upstairs Outside Odds: 3-1 (+300)
• Post 3: Mounted Moistly Odds: 20-1 (+2000)
• Post 4: Sarah Jessica Thoroughbred Odds: 8-1 (+800)
• Post 5: Steve The Horse Odds: 30-1 (+3000)
• Post 6: Alison's Mane Odds: 20-1 (+2000)
• Post 7: Appalachian Cousins Odds: 20-1 (+2000)
• Post 8: McConnell's Ol' Gray Merkin Odds: 10-1 (+1000)
• Post 9: Brown Lobster SCRATCHED
• Post 10: Tapioca P@ssword Odds: 30-1 (+3000)
• Post 11: Plantation Memories Odds: 10-1 (+1000)
• Post 12: Cobblestone Canter Odds: 20-1 (+2000)
• Post 13: Slavery Was Actually A complicated Issue Odds: 50-1 (+5000)
• Post 14: Moistly Mounted Odds: 30-1 (+3000)
• Post 15: iHorse Pro Odds: 30-1 (+3000)
• Post 16: Mo the Netflix Show Odds: 50-1 (+5000)
• Post 17: Sascha Fierceness Odds: 5-2 (+250)
• Post 18: Plantation Daydreams Odds: 20-1 (+2000)
• Post 19: Why Is It Only Wrong When We Say That Word? Odds: 20-1 (+2000)
• Post 20: Downstairs Inside Odds: 50-1 (+5000)
• Post 21: Kangaroo Jackass Odds: 30-1 (+3000)

Lots of great horses there! Lots of fun to be had! My picks:
To win - Steve The Horse, hes got a fire in his eyes this year - not just the reflection of tiki torch carrying protestors either. His race to lose.
To Place - Alison's Mane, dont let her poor score on the Wonderlic Test fool you (foal you! hilarious, remember to send to Parade magazine), shes the real deal
To Show - Plantation Daydreams, nice coat on that horse.
Also to show - since it will be warm in Louisville I expect a lot of wives and mistresses to show their new surgically enhanced bosoms for the first time this year. God bless us everyone! Since you brought up bosoms, there was a fantastic unexpected scene in Hacks season 3 episode 2.

There you have it, take it to the bank. And remember bet responsibly! If you have a big bill coming up, make sure you bet enough to cover it all if you win!

If you need more racing insights or want Hot Brown recipes be sure to head on over to my OnlyFans site.

Well thanks a lot, @Comeds . I had a trifecta bet for Mounted Moistly, iHorse Pro, and Kangaroo Jackass.

But it turns “FunDual” is not a real site and some prick in Malaysia now has $100 of mine.

All seriousness, this is always one of the best posts of the year. Kudos