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RamCub
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Now I understand. Chip just saw Draft Day with Kevin Costner.
CHIP
Oh! That's how it's done!!!
RAMCUB
Yes, that's exactly how they do it.
CHIP
Costner traded three # 1's to move up from pick #7 to get the #1 overall selection. Then he drafted a linebacker with the first pick when he could have stayed put at #7 and still have gotten that same player!
RAMCUB
Yes, that's exactly how they do it.
CHIP
Then he trades three #2's to acquire pick #6 which was one spot higher than the original pick #7 that he had before he traded up to #1 overall.
RAMCUB
Yes, that's exactly how they do it.
CHIP
Then he trades pick #6 to the team that traded him the #1 pick and now drafts just one spot behind him to get the three number #1's back plus an outstanding punt returner.
RAMCUB
Yes, that exactly how they do it.
CHIP
I'm the smartest human being on the planet. Tomorrow is the start of free agency. I've got to be the center of attention. What do you suggest?
RAMCUB
Show the football world that Mike Martz has got nothing on you. Do something that proves only you could think of a trade too impossible to comprehend.
CHIP
There's only one trade that will bring a city like Philadelphia to it knees in its admiration of my cognitive abilities.
RAMCUB
I'll get Snead on the phone, sir.
CHIP
Les, my good man. The Chipster here! I have a trade proposal. I've seen Draft Day so don't try and pull any fast ones on me. I don't have time for the back and forth negotiating pettiness that goes on. I just want a yes or no answer. Buffalo seemed to understand that. I don't waste time thinking about what trifles the masses. They said yes before I even finished my offer for my college linebacker that didn't play last year. Fools! They could've had an extra draft pick plus McCoy if they just let me finish explaining my thought process.
LES SNEAD
Case Keenum is untouchable. I've seen Draft Day, also! I cut him last year just so I could trade a draft pick to get him back!
CHIP
I know I can't pull the wool over your eyes! What we're about to do is turn the football world upside down. It will go down in history. I want to trade you the MVP of the 2013 Pro Bowl, QB Nick Foles. Plus, I want to give you a #4 this year and a #2 next year!
LES SNEAD
Chip, you are the master! I'm afraid to ask what you want in return. You know I traded RG3 already to the Redskins, don't you?
CHIP
Of, course, Les. Relax! You know I don't trade for a player before they tear their ACL's! I want the greatest ACL breaker in football history. I want Sam Bradford!!!
CHIP
Oh! That's how it's done!!!
RAMCUB
Yes, that's exactly how they do it.
CHIP
Costner traded three # 1's to move up from pick #7 to get the #1 overall selection. Then he drafted a linebacker with the first pick when he could have stayed put at #7 and still have gotten that same player!
RAMCUB
Yes, that's exactly how they do it.
CHIP
Then he trades three #2's to acquire pick #6 which was one spot higher than the original pick #7 that he had before he traded up to #1 overall.
RAMCUB
Yes, that's exactly how they do it.
CHIP
Then he trades pick #6 to the team that traded him the #1 pick and now drafts just one spot behind him to get the three number #1's back plus an outstanding punt returner.
RAMCUB
Yes, that exactly how they do it.
CHIP
I'm the smartest human being on the planet. Tomorrow is the start of free agency. I've got to be the center of attention. What do you suggest?
RAMCUB
Show the football world that Mike Martz has got nothing on you. Do something that proves only you could think of a trade too impossible to comprehend.
CHIP
There's only one trade that will bring a city like Philadelphia to it knees in its admiration of my cognitive abilities.
RAMCUB
I'll get Snead on the phone, sir.
CHIP
Les, my good man. The Chipster here! I have a trade proposal. I've seen Draft Day so don't try and pull any fast ones on me. I don't have time for the back and forth negotiating pettiness that goes on. I just want a yes or no answer. Buffalo seemed to understand that. I don't waste time thinking about what trifles the masses. They said yes before I even finished my offer for my college linebacker that didn't play last year. Fools! They could've had an extra draft pick plus McCoy if they just let me finish explaining my thought process.
LES SNEAD
Case Keenum is untouchable. I've seen Draft Day, also! I cut him last year just so I could trade a draft pick to get him back!
CHIP
I know I can't pull the wool over your eyes! What we're about to do is turn the football world upside down. It will go down in history. I want to trade you the MVP of the 2013 Pro Bowl, QB Nick Foles. Plus, I want to give you a #4 this year and a #2 next year!
LES SNEAD
Chip, you are the master! I'm afraid to ask what you want in return. You know I traded RG3 already to the Redskins, don't you?
CHIP
Of, course, Les. Relax! You know I don't trade for a player before they tear their ACL's! I want the greatest ACL breaker in football history. I want Sam Bradford!!!
